Principle 26 · from the Enchiridion
Apply your own advice
Offer yourself the same fair perspective you would give a friend. A setback can be painful without being a personal curse.
Source passage (English)
The passage is shown in English. The explanation and example below are modern interpretations for this site.
The will of nature may be learned from those things in which we don't distinguish from each other. For example, when our neighbor's boy breaks a cup, or the like, we are presently ready to say, "These things will happen." Be assured, then, that when your own cup likewise is broken, you ought to be affected just as when another's cup was broken. Apply this in like manner to greater things. Is the child or wife of another dead? There is no one who would not say, "This is a human accident." But if anyone's own child happens to die, it is presently, "Alas! How wretched am I!" But it should be remembered how we are affected in hearing the same thing concerning others.
What this means
Epictetus points out a common double standard. When something bad happens to another person, we can say calmly, "These things happen." When it happens to us, it suddenly feels like a special injustice.
He is not asking us to dismiss our own pain. He asks us to apply the same reasonable advice when our turn comes. A setback does not become a personal curse simply because it happened to us.
Choose advice that is both honest and kind enough to use. You would not help a friend by dismissing every problem as trivial, and you need not do that to yourself. Ask what support or next step you would suggest, then consider whether that same step fits your circumstances.
An everyday example
A friend loses a project opportunity and you tell them, "Setbacks are normal. You will recover." A month later, you lose your own opportunity and spiral into "Why me?"
Ask whether you can offer yourself the same perspective you gave your friend. You are allowed to be disappointed. You can also remember that setbacks are part of human life.
Reflection Question
If a friend had the same problem, what would you tell them? Can you say the same thing to yourself?