Principle 40 · from the Enchiridion
Value character over appearance
Appearance tells us little about how someone treats people. Give attention to honesty and conduct when considering personal worth.
Source passage (English)
The passage is shown in English. The explanation and example below are modern interpretations for this site.
Women from fourteen years old are flattered with the title of "mistresses" by the men. Therefore, perceiving that they are regarded only as qualified to give the men pleasure, they begin to adorn themselves, and in that to place all their hopes. We should, therefore, fix our attention on making them sensible that they are valued for the appearance of decent, modest and discreet behavior.
What this means
The source passage addresses young women and the attention paid to their appearance. Its wording reflects gender expectations from its setting. Our modern application extends the question to everyone: what do the qualities we praise teach people to value about themselves?
We can care about appearance while also noticing honesty, fairness, and how someone treats others. Those qualities take longer to see than a photo or a first impression.
Try applying the same attention to yourself. Alongside how you look, consider a choice you made that was kind or responsible. Appearance does not need to carry the whole weight of your worth.
An everyday example
Online, it is easy to measure worth through appearance and reactions. Soon, you feel pressure to present whatever version of yourself earns the most approval.
Pay attention to what takes longer to see. Is the person honest? Do they treat people well when there is nothing to gain? You can care about appearance without making it the whole identity.
Reflection Question
When you judge yourself or someone else, what do you notice first? Does it tell you much about their character?