Do Not Envy Others
Principle 25 from the Enchiridion
Epictetus teaches that many social rewards come with a price, and envy often comes from wanting the reward without paying that price.
Original Passage
Is anyone preferred before you at an entertainment, or in a compliment, or in being admitted to a consultation? If these things are good, you ought to be glad that he has gotten them; and if they are evil, don't be grieved that you have not gotten them. And remember that you cannot, without using the same means [which others do] to acquire things not in our own control, expect to be thought worthy of an equal share of them. For how can he who does not frequent the door of any [great] man, does not attend him, does not praise him, have an equal share with him who does? You are unjust, then, and insatiable, if you are unwilling to pay the price for which these things are sold, and would have them for nothing. For how much is lettuce sold? Fifty cents, for instance. If another, then, paying fifty cents, takes the lettuce, and you, not paying it, go without them, don't imagine that he has gained any advantage over you. For as he has the lettuce, so you have the fifty cents which you did not give. So, in the present case, you have not been invited to such a person's entertainment, because you have not paid him the price for which a supper is sold. It is sold for praise; it is sold for attendance. Give him then the value, if it is for your advantage. But if you would, at the same time, not pay the one and yet receive the other, you are insatiable, and a blockhead. Have you nothing, then, instead of the supper? Yes, indeed, you have: the not praising him, whom you don't like to praise; the not bearing with his behavior at coming in.
Modern Interpretation
Epictetus explains that many social rewards come with a price. Influence, access, and recognition often require flattery, networking rituals, or compromises of time and independence. If you refuse that price, you should not be upset about not receiving the reward.
Stoicism asks for honest accounting. Either pay the cost because you judge it worthwhile, or decline the reward and keep what you preserved. Resentment usually comes from wanting both: the benefit without paying the price.
This principle is about tradeoffs, not cynicism. Every path has a cost. The wise person chooses consciously and then accepts the result without envy.
When you see clearly what you are buying and what you are keeping, your decisions become calm and self-respecting.
In Practice Today
A coworker gains visibility by constantly attending optional social events with leadership. You prefer to protect family time and avoid performative praise, then feel overlooked.
A Stoic response is to name the tradeoff clearly. You chose one set of values and declined another set of rewards. That is not failure; it is a decision.
If you want different outcomes, pay a different price. If not, stop envying what you consciously chose not to buy.
Reflection Question
What result in your life are you upset about not getting, even though you are unwilling to pay the price it usually requires?