Remember What Matters
Principle 15 from the Enchiridion
Epictetus compares life to a shared meal, reminding us to take what comes with moderation and patience.
Original Passage
Remember that you must behave in life as at a dinner party. Is anything brought around to you? Put out your hand and take your share with moderation. Does it pass by you? Don't stop it. Is it not yet come? Don't stretch your desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you. Do this with regard to children, to a wife, to public posts, to riches, and you will eventually be a worthy partner of the feasts of the gods. And if you don't even take the things which are set before you, but are able even to reject them, then you will not only be a partner at the feasts of the gods, but also of their empire. For, by doing this, Diogenes, Heraclitus and others like them, deservedly became, and were called, divine.
Modern Interpretation
Epictetus compares life to a shared meal. At a meal, you do not grab everything first, block others, or panic when a dish has not reached you yet. You take what comes with moderation, let pass what is not yours, and wait without desperation.
He applies this image to major areas of life: relationships, position, and wealth. Stoicism teaches that craving, grasping, and entitlement make us restless. Patience and restraint make us steady.
This principle does not tell you never to pursue goals. It tells you to pursue without greed. Receive opportunities with gratitude, release what passes by, and do not build your identity around getting your preferred portion.
Inner freedom grows when desire is disciplined. You stop living in urgency and start living in proportion.
In Practice Today
A promotion opens at work. You apply, prepare well, and do your part. But someone else gets it. You can either resent everyone or practice Stoic moderation.
You acknowledge disappointment, then return to your own conduct: improve skills, stay fair, and keep perspective. You do not grab at status as if survival depends on it.
By treating success like a shared table rather than a private entitlement, you remain calm, respected, and ready for whatever opportunity comes next.
Reflection Question
In what area of your life are you grabbing impatiently instead of taking your share with patience and moderation?