Principle 36 · from the Enchiridion
Choose fairness over appetite
Your share affects the people around you. Consider fairness when dividing attention, credit, or opportunities.
Source passage (English)
The passage is shown in English. The explanation and example below are modern interpretations for this site.
As the proposition, "Either it is day or it is night," is extremely proper for a disjunctive argument, but quite improper in a conjunctive one, so, at a feast, to choose the largest share is very suitable to the bodily appetite, but utterly inconsistent with the social spirit of an entertainment. When you eat with another, then, remember not only the value of those things which are set before you to the body, but the value of that behavior which ought to be observed towards the person who gives the entertainment.
What this means
Epictetus reminds us that an action can be useful to us and still be unfair in a shared setting. Living with other people means considering more than our own appetite.
The lesson goes well beyond food. Attention, credit, and opportunity also need to be shared fairly. Taking the largest portion may help us for a moment, but it can weaken trust. So the question is not only what benefits us, but what respects the people around us.
Fairness does not always mean giving everyone an identical share. Different needs and contributions can matter, so make the reasons for a division clear. The useful check is whether you have considered the people affected or simply treated your ability to take more as a reason that you should.
An everyday example
In a team project, your part is the most visible, so you could easily take most of the credit.
Name everyone's contribution accurately. You do not need to hide your own work, but you also do not need to make the rest disappear.
Reflection Question
In what shared situation are you most tempted to take more than your part?