Principle 02 · from the Enchiridion
Direct your desires
You can want a good result without making it a requirement for your worth. Bring attention back to how you work toward it.
Source passage (English)
The passage is shown in English. The explanation and example below are modern interpretations for this site.
Remember that following desire promises the attainment of that of which you are desirous; and aversion promises the avoiding that to which you are averse. However, he who fails to obtain the object of his desire is disappointed, and he who incurs the object of his aversion wretched.
If, then, you confine your aversion to those objects only which are contrary to the natural use of your faculties, which you have in your own control, you will never incur anything to which you are averse. But if you are averse to sickness, or death, or poverty, you will be wretched.
Remove aversion, then, from all things that are not in our control, and transfer it to things contrary to the nature of what is in our control. But, for the present, totally suppress desire: for, if you desire any of the things which are not in your own control, you must necessarily be disappointed; and of those which are, and which it would be laudable to desire, nothing is yet in your possession.
Use only the appropriate actions of pursuit and avoidance; and even these lightly, and with gentleness and reservation.
What this means
Desire becomes a problem when it latches onto something we cannot guarantee. If we feel we must be successful, admired, or wealthy, our peace depends on circumstances and other people's decisions.
Fear works the same way. Trying to eliminate every risk of illness, loss, or death can keep our attention fixed on what might happen. Taking precautions is different from expecting a guarantee that nothing painful will occur.
Epictetus asks us to aim our desire at our own choices and conduct. We can still hope for a good outcome. We just stop treating it as a requirement for being okay.
Try separating a preference from a demand: "I would like this to work" leaves room to adjust; "This must work or I am worthless" turns a result into a verdict on yourself. Fear can still be present. You can acknowledge the risk and prepare without making certainty a condition for moving forward.
An everyday example
You work hard and hope for a promotion. Soon, every comment from your manager starts to feel like a clue. Is this a good sign, or does it mean your work is being overlooked?
When the promotion goes to someone else, disappointment is understandable. Then, you can return to your part: do the work well, ask for useful feedback, and improve where you can. Your effort does not have to end because this result was not the one you wanted.
Reflection Question
Which desire or fear is taking up the most room in your mind right now? How much of it is actually within your control?