Direct your desires
Principle 2 from the Enchiridion
Aim them instead at the choices that are actually yours. Desire and fear become exhausting when they depend on things we cannot guarantee.
Original Passage
Remember that following desire promises the attainment of that of which you are desirous; and aversion promises the avoiding that to which you are averse. However, he who fails to obtain the object of his desire is disappointed, and he who incurs the object of his aversion wretched.
If, then, you confine your aversion to those objects only which are contrary to the natural use of your faculties, which you have in your own control, you will never incur anything to which you are averse. But if you are averse to sickness, or death, or poverty, you will be wretched.
Remove aversion, then, from all things that are not in our control, and transfer it to things contrary to the nature of what is in our control. But, for the present, totally suppress desire: for, if you desire any of the things which are not in your own control, you must necessarily be disappointed; and of those which are, and which it would be laudable to desire, nothing is yet in your possession.
Use only the appropriate actions of pursuit and avoidance; and even these lightly, and with gentleness and reservation.
Modern Interpretation
Desire becomes a problem when it latches onto something we cannot guarantee. If we feel we must be successful, admired, or wealthy, our peace depends on circumstances and other people's decisions.
Fear works the same way. A life spent trying to avoid illness, loss, or death becomes a life ruled by possibilities that may never arrive and cannot be avoided forever.
Epictetus asks us to aiming our desire at our own choices and conduct. We can still hope for a good outcome. We just stop treating it as a requirement for being okay.
In Practice
You work hard and hope for a promotion. Soon, every comment from your manager starts to feel like a clue. Is this a good sign, or does it mean your work is being overlooked?
When the promotion goes to someone else, disappointment is understandable. Then, you can return to your part: do the work well, ask for useful feedback, and improve where you can. Your effort does not have to end because this result was not the one you wanted.
Reflection Question
Which desire or fear is taking up the most room in your mind right now? How much of it is actually within your control?