Principle 03 · from the Enchiridion
Love without clinging
People and things we love can change or leave. Remembering this can help us give them attention while they are here.
Source passage (English)
The passage is shown in English. The explanation and example below are modern interpretations for this site.
With regard to whatever objects give you delight, are useful, or are deeply loved, remember to tell yourself of what general nature they are, beginning from the most insignificant things. If, for example, you are fond of a specific ceramic cup, remind yourself that it is only ceramic cups in general of which you are fond. Then, if it breaks, you will not be disturbed. If you kiss your child, or your wife, say that you only kiss things which are human, and thus you will not be disturbed if either of them dies.
What this means
A practical way to read this passage is to remember that everything we enjoy and care about can change or disappear, while continuing to care for it. Objects break. Plans fall through. People do not live forever.
We forget this because whatever is here today tends to feel permanent. Then loss arrives, and alongside the grief comes the shock that reality did not keep the promise we imagined. Remembering that things are temporary does not remove grief. It can, however, help us appreciate what is here without treating it as ours forever.
In daily life, this can mean giving attention now instead of assuming there will always be another chance. It does not mean rehearsing a loss every time you feel close to someone. If loss has already happened, the idea is something to consider in your own time, rather than a demand to grieve differently.
An everyday example
Your phone slips from your hand and the screen cracks on an already busy day. Annoying? Absolutely. After the first reaction passes, remember that it is a breakable object. Then deal with what needs to be done.
With people, the practice is not to hold back. It is to be more present now: listen, speak kindly, and stop saving affection for some more convenient day.
Reflection Question
Who or what have you quietly assumed will always be there? If you remembered that it is not guaranteed, what would you do differently today?