Pause before reacting
Principle 20 from the Enchiridion
You can still respond firmly without following the first impulse. A pause between what happened and what you do next leaves room for a better choice.
Original Passage
Remember, that not he who gives ill language or a blow insults, but the principle which represents these things as insulting. When, therefore, anyone provokes you, be assured that it is your own opinion which provokes you. Try, therefore, in the first place, not to be hurried away with the appearance. For if you once gain time and respite, you will more easily command yourself.
Modern Interpretation
A common version of this is easy to recognize. Epictetus asks us to separate the event from our interpretation of it. Words and actions can be rude, but the feeling of being "insulted" depends on the judgment we add. If we immediately agree with the appearance, anger takes over before reason can work.
The practice begins with a pause. That small space before responding gives you a chance not to follow the first reaction automatically. You may still speak up, set a boundary, or leave. The point is to choose rather than explode.
This does not excuse abuse. The pause protects your ability to decide what to do about it. A little time and distance often help because the first reaction is not always the best one.
In Practice
A common version of this is easy to recognize. Someone posts a mocking comment about you online. Your first instinct is to reply aggressively. Step away for a few minutes and let the first rush pass.
You may decide it deserves no answer, a short factual reply, or a clear boundary. You did not choose the comment, but you can still choose what happens after you read it.
Reflection Question
What almost always makes you react immediately? What might change if you paused first?