Stay calm while helping
Principle 16 from the Enchiridion
A steady presence is often more helpful than shared alarm. You can care about someone else's pain without being pulled into the same panic.
Original Passage
When you see anyone weeping in grief because his son has gone abroad, or is dead, or because he has suffered in his affairs, be careful that the appearance may not misdirect you. Instead, distinguish within your own mind, and be prepared to say, "It's not the accident that distresses this person, because it doesn't distress another person; it is the judgment which he makes about it." As far as words go, however, don't reduce yourself to his level, and certainly do not moan with him. Do not moan inwardly either.
Modern Interpretation
When someone is suffering, Epictetus asks us to be present without getting pulled into the same panic. Compassion and clear thinking can exist together.
If you collapse too, you are less able to help. That does not mean hiding your feelings or telling the other person to calm down. Listen and acknowledge the pain while keeping enough perspective to see what might help.
In Practice
A common version of this is easy to recognize. A friend has just lost money in a failed business and feels that everything is over. You do not need to deliver a lecture or agree that the future is ruined.
Listen first. When they are ready, help separate what happened from what can still be done next. Your calm can give them room to breathe without creating distance between you.
Reflection Question
When someone close to you is struggling, what would it mean to be warm and present without taking on their panic?