Principle 15 · from the Enchiridion
Take your share patiently
Pursue opportunities without treating them as something you are owed. Missing out does not reduce your worth.
Source passage (English)
The passage is shown in English. The explanation and example below are modern interpretations for this site.
Remember that you must behave in life as at a dinner party. Is anything brought around to you? Put out your hand and take your share with moderation. Does it pass by you? Don't stop it. Is it not yet come? Don't stretch your desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you. Do this with regard to children, to a wife, to public posts, to riches, and you will eventually be a worthy partner of the feasts of the gods. And if you don't even take the things which are set before you, but are able even to reject them, then you will not only be a partner at the feasts of the gods, but also of their empire. For, by doing this, Diogenes, Heraclitus and others like them, deservedly became, and were called, divine.
What this means
Epictetus compares life to a shared meal. When a dish reaches you, take a reasonable portion. If it has not arrived, wait. If it has already passed, do not chase it around the table in a panic.
The image also applies to status, wealth, and relationships. We can pursue what matters without treating every opportunity as something we must seize. Missing out this time does not reduce our worth.
Patience in this image still leaves room for initiative. You can apply, ask a question, or make your interest known. The distinction is between making an honest effort and acting as though another person's opportunity has been taken from you. Waiting can also reveal whether the opportunity fits what you actually value.
An everyday example
A promotion opens at work. You prepare, apply, and someone else gets it. You are disappointed, which is fair enough.
Afterward, return to your own work. Improve the skills that need work and do not turn the other person's success into a personal insult. You can keep trying without acting as if the title was owed to you.
Reflection Question
Where are you rushing to grab something right now? What would it look like to keep trying without forcing the result?