Terima harga pilihanmu
Prinsip 25 dari Enchiridion
Bisa jadi kamu menginginkan hasilnya, tetapi tidak prosesnya. Sebelum iri pada hasil orang lain, lihat seluruh harga dari jalan yang mereka tempuh.
Teks Asli
Is anyone preferred before you at an entertainment, or in a compliment, or in being admitted to a consultation? If these things are good, you ought to be glad that he has gotten them; and if they are evil, don't be grieved that you have not gotten them. And remember that you cannot, without using the same means [which others do] to acquire things not in our own control, expect to be thought worthy of an equal share of them. For how can he who does not frequent the door of any [great] man, does not attend him, does not praise him, have an equal share with him who does? You are unjust, then, and insatiable, if you are unwilling to pay the price for which these things are sold, and would have them for nothing. For how much is lettuce sold? Fifty cents, for instance. If another, then, paying fifty cents, takes the lettuce, and you, not paying it, go without them, don't imagine that he has gained any advantage over you. For as he has the lettuce, so you have the fifty cents which you did not give. So, in the present case, you have not been invited to such a person's entertainment, because you have not paid him the price for which a supper is sold. It is sold for praise; it is sold for attendance. Give him then the value, if it is for your advantage. But if you would, at the same time, not pay the one and yet receive the other, you are insatiable, and a blockhead. Have you nothing, then, instead of the supper? Yes, indeed, you have: the not praising him, whom you don't like to praise; the not bearing with his behavior at coming in.
Penafsiran Modern
Epictetus mengingatkan, banyak "hadiah sosial" datang dengan harga tertentu: waktu, perhatian, kompromi, atau sikap tertentu.
Jika kita tidak bersedia membayar harganya, kita tidak perlu iri pada hasil yang sebenarnya tidak kita pilih. Iri sering lahir karena ingin dua hal sekaligus: manfaatnya, tapi tanpa konsekuensinya.
Ini bukan ajakan untuk curiga pada keberhasilan orang lain. Epictetus hanya meminta kita melihat pertukarannya secara utuh, lalu memilih dengan sadar tanpa iri pada hasil dari jalan yang memang tidak kita ambil.
Contoh Praktik
Rekanmu mendapat visibilitas tinggi karena selalu ikut acara jaringan. Kamu memilih waktu keluarga dan tidak ingin basa-basi berlebihan, lalu merasa tertinggal.
Akui pertukarannya. Kamu memilih waktu bersama keluarga, dan pilihan itu mungkin membuatmu melewatkan sebagian peluang jaringan. Kalau hasil yang lain benar-benar kamu inginkan, pertimbangkan juga apakah kamu bersedia menjalani prosesnya.
Pertanyaan Refleksi
Hasil siapa yang sedang kamu iri? Kalau melihat seluruh prosesnya, apakah kamu juga ingin membayar harga yang sama?